Ok, who has stolen my angelic toddler? You know, the one who goes to bed every night at 7:00 pm and doesn’t question it, just has a story and goes to bed? Seriously, she’s been replaced with this insulate, insubordinate little fecker who is causing me to have moments of major rage and I am tearing my hair out in despair!
Part of me feels really bad writing this but I don’t know what’s got into her. Whatever it is I want it gone and fast as my patience is wearing thinner thank a Brazilian thong on Rio de Janeiro beach. We have, no I repeat HAD an awesome toddler bedtime routine. Very rarely once Roo was down did we have to go back to her or did she wake up, often sleeping for up to 13 hours and meaning everyone in our house was pretty rested each night. Bliss.
However, this last week I don’t know what’s happened. We haven’t changed anything, in fact we’ve pushed the bedtime to 7:30 pm as she’s nearly 4 now and I think as long as she is in bed between 7:00 – 7:30 pm that is great. Any later than this I believe is unacceptable for a three and a half year old toddler as a) it breeds grumpy small people for the next day and b) it gives me and Daddy E very little time together of an evening. Both reasons equally important in their own way.
For some reason after her story she’s started getting out of bed, padding round her room, picking up random toys to play with. She will shout down the stairs from her room (thank god the stair gate is still across the door) for one of us when she doesn’t actually need anything. Then if we go up and comfort her and reprimand that it’s bed time and she needs to go to sleep, she begins to cling onto whoever is there like those 80′s clip on koala monkeys and starts sobbing “don’t go, I want you, don’t go”.
Now I need to stress we’ve never done the co-sleeping thing. It isn’t my cup of tea. She has never slept in our bed and we’ve never slept in her room to comfort her. She has her night lights on all night and nothing in her room has changed. She will waste time saying there are witches in her bed or monsters and we have to play a game of eating them. This can go on for up to 3 hours, as indeed it did on Tuesday night.
It means dinner gets ruined, we are not eating till gone 9pm and I am tired and fraught from already being stuck in the house with Roo all day and then this all kicks off. Usually after 2 or 3 upstairs visits we refuse to go back and simply remind her from the bottom of the stairs to go to sleep. I agree with controlled crying, I did it when she was younger and I don’t believe in pandering to your child simply because they are wailing. I know she doesn’t actually want or need anything.
I’ve tried to think what could have shifted her pattern out of sync and have come up with the following:-
- still recovering from the flight back from the USA last Tuesday
- she’s been having growing pains in her legs – could this be upsetting her routine at night and unsettling her?
- Playing the Nintendo Wii Skylanders game with me and Daddy E – the game has now been relegated out of her eye view
I am not prepared to move her bedtime to later in the evening. I don’t agree with kids under 5 staying up until 8:00 or 9:00 pm at night, where is the downtime for mum’s and dad’s once this starts. My evenings are my time to relax and not be in “slave” mode, plus the thought of having to watch Nick JR or Tiny Pop TV any longer would force me to stick my head in the gas oven.
Anyone got any suggestions to add to my list on why Roo’s toddler bedtime routine has gone out the window? Are you strict with bedtimes in your house, and if so what time do you try to get your toddlers into bed?
I bet it’s the jetlag – it takes me a good week to readjust – and I can’t imagine it’d take a toddler any less time. Hope it calms down soon for you!
Thanks Jo – you’re probably right, I am such a stickler for routine that I can’t deal with things when they get pushed out of sync
themummyblogger recently posted..Where’s my toddlers bedtime routine gone?
Hi mummyblogger, I am mum of 2 girls, but also app developer. Reading your blog is like a trip down memory lane and also one of the reasons I developed my first App Bo’s Bedtime Story. The main goal of the App is to let a child help Bo the Giraffe with his bedtime routine by helping through 10 scenes. Every scene offers the child a game they can play. By offering a recognizable structure for going to bed in a fun way children tend to go bed more quietly, but parents also need to offer this structured way.
Have a look at my website for more info http://wwww.heppi-apps.com. Good luck with Roo
Sorry slipped one w to much into my website address: http://www.heppi-apps.com
I share your views on toddler bedtimes
. Our 3 and a half year old had a similar blip a while ago but he was still taking a nap some days. We eliminated the nap and that fixed the problem for us, as he was then too tired to think about getting out of bed at bedtime!
I agree with Jo that in your case it probably is still the jetlag. Hopefully you will have your bedtime routine and evenings back very soon!
I whole heartedly agree with your post, the need for a good bedtime routine, children getting adequate sleep and adult time. I must admit I struggled with my eldest when he was a baby/toddler, but when he reached 3 yrs I did a strict ‘put back to bed’ routine much like the Supernanny approach, and it worked.
, although exhausting for a week! My younger two children I was much firmer and used controlled crying as babies and they have a strict 7pm bedtime, perfect for their ages. I’m fully expecting the perfect routine to become unsettled again at some point, perhaps when they move from cot to bed, but will be using the put back to bed technique. I firmly believe that if there is no obvious reason, i.e. illness, for a child getting up, that it is probably just attention seeking, and they just need to be reminded who is boss.
I do agree that perhaps jetlag may have unsettled your daughter. Does she still daytime nap? Maybe she is ready to cut that out? Perhaps moving the bedtime to 7.30 is the issue…overtired…missing the bedtime boat by even half an hour can unsettle a child.
I do hope you manage to get your routine back, even if it does have to be tweaked slightly.
Karen x
Hi mummyblogger, As a mother of 3 (grown-up now), and a midwife of 20 years, I have to say that I dont think there’s any real answer to your problem.
I’m sure the jetlag will be part of the problem, and perseverance should prevail, however it could take quite a while as toddlers can be extremely resiliant.
Hang on in there, just make sure the wine is chilled!
Mandy x
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