Sometimes being a parent can be pretty lonely. I don’t know how those who are single parents manage as it must be doubly hard for them when it is literally just them and the kids in the house all day every day. That said some days I feel pretty much like a single parent in our house and there is no escaping some days the loneliness of being a mum. It doesn’t help when I see pictures online of mum’s insanely grinning at their kids with what look like drug induced smiles – as if to convince me that every day like this is fantastic and nothing ever goes wrong.
Apart from all the domestic chores falling to me, I sort out the bills, the finances, childcare issues and any general brown stuff hitting the fan from week to week. As a consequence this doesn’t leave much time for socialising or nights out with the girls or even coffee on a Saturday with a friend. My life appears to be full of the drudgery of domesticity punctuated by random acts of motherhood and occasionally some time off whilst Roo goes to a grandparent.
As a result of which it has occurred to me that I am actually pretty lonely. Not as in Billy no mates lonely – but oh god I wish someone would pick up the phone and ask me out for the evening for a drink or a meal, just something other than sitting at home watching Sky+ shows, blogging, tweeting, ironing, cleaning etc….seriously anything to break up the monotony.
Daddy E has quite a busy social life, he gets to go out with the lads at the weekend when their is a car show on and this means that often for the whole weekend he disappears leaving me alone again with Roo. As much as I love her company – something more stimulating than why can Abney & Teal sit in their umbrella and she can’t needs to be happening in my life.
Most of my child-free friends aren’t interested in going out to bars where the music isn’t going to require me shouting myself hoarse all night, or they are at the other end of the spectrum and think that I can still afford to drink in swanky champagne bars all evening. Then I’ve got friends with kids all have teeny tiny babies so are in that stage of “oh my god I can’t leave them or they will self destruct”.
I feel quite lonely sitting here now writing this, Roo is in bed and Daddy E is out….again. Now that I am becoming a stay at home mum from June I know that I will need to get out the house during the day or quite frankly I will go stir crazy with boredom.
I wouldn’t swap being a mum not in the slightest – but it would be nice if I could hold up a “TIME OUT” card and get out and socialise and hold a proper conversation once in a while.
So mummy bloggers of the UK if you’re on twitter and we follow each other and you fancy meeting up for a coffee, a play date, a run around in the park then please tweet me!
I am so with you Charlie thus is how I feel sometimes. Not every day, but a lot. I don’t mean to br crabbit but can’t help it sometimed. I just feel frustrated. I can’t meet you face to face but why don’t we start our virtual coffee morning? You free to skype about it soon?
Thank you! Like you I don’t feel like this every day and people assume that because Roo isn’t a baby any more that it must be easier. In some ways it is but in others it isn’t as she becomes so attached to being with me sometimes it is impossible just to get a moment off from mum mode. Those Skype coffee chats sound like a good idea when I get back from holidays. x
Totally agree. I have three, and I rarely have time to spend by myself let alone others! Jubilee weekend I managed a couple of nights out, and it made such a huge difference, has reminded me that the effort is worth it!
You are living my life. I have 5 children and am at home all day everyday with no adult company. My hubby’s social life is as dead as mine but he is pretty much always at work so I spend most of my time on my own with the children. I don’t drive so I have no way of gettin out and about.
I am lonely most of the time and it sucks!
Xx
You are certainly not alone. I am a mum of three and it was only this morning I was thinking how lonely, monotonous and repitive being a mum can sometimes be.
This morning for instance I’m supposed to be going to the library for rhyme time. But another morning of rushing around trying to get three kids ready in time is not appealing, plus the shoddy weather isn’t helping. I often feel guilty because I feel as though I’m not doing enough with them, especially since my eldest starts school this September.
I’ve been managing to get out once a week over the past few weeks and that is really making a difference. Being able to have some me time is very refreshing. My other half works long hours too and has five aside football twice a week etc, so I’m often on my own with my children too.
I would like to see more local mummy meet up groups, where kids can play and be creative, whilst mummy’s have a chat and share experiences. Maybe a bit idealist, but it’d be great if this was something that was much more commonplace and easy to access.
This is turning into a bit of a ramble, but I hope you’re feeling better soon. I know some days are way better than others but parenthood isn’t easy.
awww bless ya honey. Don’t feel so sad you are a fab lady. I can understand how you feel. It’s often really hard to get nights and days out sorted with friends as everyone has such busy lives too. I loved mat leave, meet ups every day but it’s all change now since being back at work and if I don’t organise get together’s they would never happen. I am at the end of twitter, facebook and google+ any time for you honey xxx
Hello, I’ve meant to reply to this for a few days now, but have only just got the chance – it’s a horribly lonely thing being a mum… and yet even being back at work four days a week I’m lonely too – nobody talks to me, they assume as you’re a mum that you’ve nothing in common any more, so I understand where you’re coming from – that break from it all (which work is for me).
We’re Facebook friends even though I’ve been rubbish at saying hello, (I’m a good reader, I’m just a rubbish replyer – does that word even exist? Replier?) I’d be happy to meet up!
This is why I do so much when I’m with H – to meet people to keep myself sane – even though the tiredness I’m sure makes it look like I glaze over, but I don’t, we’re all (probably) doing the same thing as we’re all so tired but getting a break (kind of!)
So not really any answers, but just popping by to say hi! x jo