It’s been a lovely week at Mummyblogger HQ, Daddy E took a week off work to spend time with Roo and myself and it was absolute bliss to have another pair of hands around the house and deal with the constant shouts of “mum, mummy, MUM!”.
What was also great is that Daddy E got to see first hand what a stubborn, headstrong and determined daughter Roo is becoming. I don’t know about anyone else’s other half, but sometimes I think Daddy E thinks I make up the daily tales of the battle of wills in this house and he really has no idea of the challenges Roo and I face together. Having taken the week off he has now seen it first hand and now truly understand that the saying like mother like daughter is very true in our house.
Battles this week included a 40 minute tantrum over getting washed and dressed on the morning we were off to see Brave again at the cinema. Anyone else find that if they promise their kids something all they do is kick off even more? A meltdown over having to sit at the family table instead of her own table to eat her dinner, really are we going to do this was my reaction. And then there was the screaming ab-dabs at being asked to play nicely on her own whilst Daddy E and I tried to sort some paperwork out at home and tidy up.
All of the above seem pretty reasonable requests and I get so wound up when they are met by foot stomping, door slamming, fist banging and that whiney voice that only kids seem to be able to do. Even going to bed at night Roo has begun to make into a drawn out process, asking for an extra 10 minutes play after the bath, demanding both of us sit in for the bedtime story (where previously it was just one of us so the other could get on with dinner) and then asking for a drink before bed (which she’s never had as we don’t want her to have accidents in the night).
Kids are crafty – I’ll give them that and it got me thinking how much of their behaviour is inherited from us?
Considering she’s nearly 4 years old – Roo seems to have the devious mind of her superhero alter ego, capable of taking out parents and reducing them to obedient wrecks with just one wobble of her bottom lip.
Daddy E looked at me quizzically during several of these tantrums, in which Roo is always put into time out until she calms down (at which point we go and talk and apologise), and said “Is she always like that?”. My response was yes, pretty much. Don’t get me wrong I love my daughter, wouldn’t swap her for the world, wouldn’t change her independent attitude but I have never heard any mum mention that their child goes into a full blown meltdown when asked to get dressed in the morning.
We’ve reached the point in the morning that as soon as Roo wakes up, we have to get her washed and dressed in her room before even going downstairs for a cup of tea. We can’t even get her into the bathroom for a wash in the morning. It just doesn’t happen. I have to bring everything into her room and do it top & tail style. At nearly 4 this is not what I expect.
She gets angry and frustrated when she can’t put her pants and trousers on, and I’ve tried explaining she needs to do this for school in 4 weeks time. Again I am met with a sullen face and a growl of “you do it.” Inevitably, to keep the peace, to avoid world war III I end up doing it.
It’s my own fault – I am making a rod for my own back, I know it.
Just how the heck do I stop it?
We’ve tried reducing privileges, taking away treats, reward charts pretty much all the usual tried and tested methods but still Daddy E and I resort to time out when she’s playing up and I’ll be honest it breaks our hearts to watch her crying over such silly things. I get upset, Roo gets upset it’s just a big circle and it makes some days so draining emotionally.
Daddy E did chuckle though because after a long conversation with Poppop last week it turns out that as a child I was exactly the same as Roo – lots of fireworks and attitude. I shouldn’t be surprised that we are the same because at 35 I still appear to be the same now and often cause Daddy E many head banging and palm to face moments.
So it would appear that Roo and I really are like mother like daughter – if that’s the case maybe I should get Daddy E some earphones and painkillers for Christmas as he could be in for a long road ahead with two divas in the house!
Do you notice any traits in your kids that you have in yourself?
This is definitely an eye opener and a ‘put this in the list of things to look forward to’ when baby girl arrives!
I wonder if your dad had any suggestions, after all, he did go through it all with you!
My mum and I are terribly similar, it pains me to say. When I was growing up I would categorically say the reason we didn’t ‘get on’ is because we were so different.
With hindsight, I now know it’s because we’re peas in a pod – we clash because we’re so similar. We want it done our way, and no other way. We can both be pretty selfish, mostly towards my poor dad.
We still bicker like cats and dogs at 28 and 50 something, but ultimately we have an incredibly strong relationship, because we just ‘get each other’.
You’ll both get there!
What a lovely post. The boys have similar traits to me, but I can see hubby in there too x
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