Roo was quiet when I picked her up from school yesterday, last night she cried for an hour for my mum. Words poured from her mouth like ‘my heart will crack if I don’t see my nanmar’. My heart hurt for her that I couldn’t fix what she wanted last night other than to offer a phone call to nanmar so they could say good night. Tonight when I picked her up from school she said in the car, ‘no one played with me today mummy’.
This made me sad. She’s the oldest in her class other than one other little girl who we had for a playdate last week and I am worried that she may be feeling left out and struggling to form friendships with children younger than her. She seems to be gravitating towards the older children in full time reception who the two classes occasionally join up with but they don’t do free play together.
I asked her today what she tried to join in with and she said she asked one of the boys if she could play in the castle with him. He told her no and to go away. Roo is a sensitive child, she doesn’t like change and loves her routine, she avoids loud noises and noisy places and like me wears her heart on her sleeve – I can see many incidents in the future of tears over emotions and being open with people as she is already that type of child where she wants to know everyone and help others. At school she will look after the children if they are upset and she always looks for approval from her peers in things she does.
She went on to tell me that no one would let her join their games today, so in the end she simply went and sat on the beanbags lying down and imagined about friendship and playing with a best friend. It struck me how poignant this was for a four year old to think about and inwardly a little worried about my child making friends.
I will do everything I can to help her integrate, have parties, playdates, sleepovers and all those fun things that seem to go on at school now but deep down I am wondering if maybe I should mention it to the teachers at parent’s evening this week and see if they have noticed her withdrawing at all with her friends or being excluded. Maybe they could do some group on feelings and friendships in class.
Has anyone else experienced worry or concern over their child making friends at school or in social situations? I’d love to know how you dealt with it.